epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
