and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
