I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
