On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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