actually, I'm a sock model
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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