Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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