i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
