bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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