Do vagina's smell?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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