I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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