that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
