Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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