youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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