Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
