let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
