girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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