I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
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i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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