Sponge bath it is.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize