Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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