what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i will never coherently bang her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
