I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We are two peas in an std pod
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
