So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
