I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
