A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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