I can tuck mytits in my pants
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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