i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
