I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
