I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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