Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just pee around me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
