I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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