3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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