I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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