I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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