I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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