Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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