My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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