I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
