who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
