I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
