is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
