This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
