Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
