Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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