Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
