That's intense
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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