It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
