I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize