Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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