i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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