called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
