Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
