is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
