You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
