shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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