Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
