is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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