im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
