Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
did you just send me my own nude
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
