nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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