Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
