what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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