soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
PANTIES FOUND
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