i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
