My friends, they love my intelligence
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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