ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
